Thoughts...

So the other day when I looked at a calendar I realized that around this time last year I had an OBGYN Dr. tell me, that I would probably never be able to get pregnant on my own; Over the phone no less.  I hit an all-time emotional low, and after a few weeks felt like God was telling me to snap out of it and start taking care of myself and focus on my husband. And now when I think back to then, I give the baby that “probably never would be” an extra squeeze and kiss, then continue to praise God for his blessings.  Because I stopped worrying about other people so much and worrying about my husband and truly making more of an effort to be an “obedient/honorable” wife, I feel that our relationship is stronger and better than it has ever been. We laugh and marvel that we’ve been “together” for eleven years now and we’re still as crazy about one another as we were back in high school. We used to dream about what life would be like if we ever had a baby, and now we get to live it!! I remembered one day a dream Jason told me he had way back then about me picking our sleeping baby up off his chest, at the precise moment I was picking Baby Richard up from him while the two of them were passed out sleeping. J Just goes to show that Dreams really do come true.

Baby Richard, is now almost three months old. At his two month check-up on September 29^th he weighed 12.8 pounds, and was 22.83 inches. Recently when I took him into the Dr. because he has some red spots/sores in his little fat rolls between his legs, he weighed 14.85 pounds and was 23.75 inches long! He’s been sleeping for about ten and a half hours each night, which has allowed me to get some much needed sleep.

I have been very hesitant to take him off base to go for walks or shopping, mainly because he still has some pretty baby blue eyes. I keep hoping they change colors to look more like Jason’s eyes but at the same time I secretly hope that they stay their pretty blue. When I go home for Christmas I really want to get a picture of my dad with his three blue eyed grandsons. So my fingers are crossed that his eyes will at least stay blue until he gets to go to the states and meet all the family.

For the time being Jason and I are enjoying our time together. And I love watching him with Richard. I can honestly say I don’t think I’m ready for Jason to leave us again so soon, but I will endeavor to handle the upcoming separation no matter what.

One month !!!

I can't believe how time is moving so fast. My sweet little baby is one month old already!! Our little Jelly Bean is turning into such a little sweetheart. In the morning he loves to snuggle after he has his "breakfast", but then he is happiest when he's snuggling with me anyways. He snorts like a little pig when he's eating. I laugh every time because its so silly and cute. We are starting to work on learning that "I don't need mommy to hold me while I go to sleep".. So far I think its going pretty good, because he's been going down for naps by himself better. As long as he has his Bink he's happy. When ever we leave the house at first he screams at me for putting him in his car seat, but then after a couple minutes of "moving" to get to the van he calms down and will eventually fall asleep. Then he stays asleep for anywhere between 3 and 4 hours. Once in a while he'll be out for 5 hours but I try not to let that happen to often.
I am so glad that he sleeps while we're out.. mainly because that means his pretty blue jean colored eyes are shut. Reason why, the Japanese LOVE blue eyed babies. They will get in children's faces to see if they have blue eyes if its not obvious. I've even seen them come up to blond haired blue eyed babies and kiss them on the mouth without first speaking to the parents. I know it bothered that babies mother, heck it made me uncomfortable and I was just meeting the girl for the first time!! Because the light colored hair and blue eyes is so uncommon for the Japanese to "see" they love seeing babies with any "not dark" haired baby or a baby with eyes that aren't brown. (Robin be glad you cant' come out here with both your boys.. Xander would probably get completely freaked out by the attention he would get with his pretty eyes.)
I know that eventually I'll have to deal with locals getting in his face to see what color his eyes are. And more than likely I'll have them ask to take pictures with him (so they have proof they were with a blue eyed baby). I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous about it.. but I know that when the time comes and we have to deal with it, I'll handle it somehow. In the meantime I'll be flooding Facebook with pictures of our little man, so his daddy can "watch" him grow from afar. Thankfully soon he'll be home from this training deployment he's on. But once he goes to Afghanistan there should at least be one picture posted a day, so Jason can see how Richard is spending his days :)

At 12:25 am on August 1, 2011.....

God blessed both me and my husband with this beautiful and amazing baby boy.

Richard Everett Jones.

And thanks to the good ole' Marine Corps in combination with 9th ESB, starting week 2 after his birth I started to learn what it was like to be a "single mother". Jason had to go to the rifle range, so that left me at home with a new born baby by myself. To be honest I was scared to death, and I still sort of am. But thanks to "time" and advice from my friends who are all experienced mommies I'm getting the hang of it. My mom and dad came to Japan, and lucky for us Jason wasn't sent on his training deployment until two days after they got here; so they were able to spend some time with him.

And now baby Richard and I just "hang out" until Jason returns from the desert. Thankfully God blessed me with friends who are all willing to come over and spend time with the both of us to give me a break as well as conversation with an adult. I'll admit its hard to do this on my own without Jason, and I can't wait for him to come home. It will be nice to be a "complete" family once again.  Tomorrow Richard will be one month old, I'm sad that Jason isn't here to watch our son grow. But one day this being "separated" thing will be all over. God will give me strength when I feel as though I can't hold on anymore. Right now I praise him for his blessings that he's given me.

Richard Everette Has Arrived!!!

His Birth Story

On Monday my Dr scheduled me to be induced on Friday at 8am, because on Friday I would be a full 41 weeks pregnant. I was to call Labor and Deivery to find out if they had a room available for me. So starting at 7 am like I was told to I started calling, and as luck would have it every single bed was full and would be full for the most of the day. I finally got the call to report at 5 pm. So Jason and I packed up and went in. Before hooking me up to the IV the midwife checked me.. I was still at only 2cm, the cervix has yet again moved back behind the baby's head, and the baby has yet again gone back "up". The Midwife even said "this is going to take a while." Around 7:30 she came back in.... There is a woman who it is no longer safe for her to be at home, and they need to get her in. Because they hadn't gotten the chance to even start my induction they had to make the decision as to who needed their help more. Obviously the other woman wins that choice hands down, and I completely understand. For some reason just about every single pregnant woman except 3 (including me) who have gone to Labor and Delivery friday gave birth. So all five rooms have been utilized all day. The Midwife said that, usually they don't induce on weekends but because it is evident that this baby needs to come out I get first priority tomorrow morning. If we didn’t get a call in the middle of the night to come back in, we were to call at 5 am.
Needless to say that’s what we did, I called once and then Jason took over calling because my induction was scheduled and I needed to get my baby out. When I called they told me that they promised to call, and then at 10, Jason started getting very frustrated and called, he even gave them a little attitude saying how this was scheduled…. Time went by a little bit and we made cheeseburgers for lunch. (one of the last things we had in the freezer to make) and then I laid down to take a nap. Then around 12:40 Jason’s cell phone rang. Why his cell we have no clue but the call came. I heard the people on the other end ask Jason how long did he think it would take us, and he told them about 30 minutes. When he hung up alls he said to me was “move” and I bounced off the couch so fast that Jason had to stop and look twice. And I called my mom to let her know , that our little man would be on his way eventually.
Second time around we walked in and they took me back to the same room as before. Got me all hooked up and re-filled out some paperwork that because it was back dated . Then they wasted no time what so ever and gave me the medicine that would allow for my cervix to soften and dilate. And thus the waiting began Saturday July 30 at approximately 1:30 in the afternoon.
I went through the rest of Saturday randomly getting “checked” and experiencing almost constant pain, yet I still felt that I wasn’t in enough pain that I needed an epidural yet, so they gave me a different type of med that relaxed my entire body so that I barely felt any pain. It did however make me high as a kite. I got laughed at a lot but it didn’t bother me much. I slept a lot to make time go faster, or I played with my ipod. The only things I was allowed to eat were popsicles, ice chips and a major abundance of water! I was put on Pitocin, to help “move things along” however before we knew it, it was Sunday morning and the Saturday crew was on their way home.
The Doctor from Saturday kept trying to push me using a balloon of sorts that would go up into my slightly dilated cervix and then more manually force me to dilate. I refused because I had never heard of it before and because I did not want to experience feeling anything being shoved up me while I was in so much pain. However when Dr.Hoffman, (a female dr) “took over” she explained to me that she would make sure I was given my epidural and some pain medicine before they did it so I wouldn’t feel anything. She explained that they couldn’t go ahead and give me a C-Section because with this being my first pregnancy they had to get a history and try to let my body dilate. At that point I was only 3 cm dilated and begging for them to just get it over with and get the baby out of me because of the pain. So in came the epidural, as well as some sort of pain medicine that went into my IV and they had previously shut off the Pitocin. The next thing I knew Dr. Hoffman was putting her hand on my head and saying “Ok Sweetie we need to get this thing started.”
This was after about an hour and a half of having the Pitocin turned off, and Dr. Hoffman checked to see where things were and announced to the nurse “She doesn’t even need it!! She’s 6 cm Dilated. Let’s get the Pitocin restarted, break her water and work to try and get this baby out!”
Time went on, and I started to feel like I needed to attempt to push around 7:30 pm, Day crew had switched over with the night crew by that point as well. I wasn’t allowed to push for at least an hour because there was a “lip” of the cervix that was over the baby’s head. The Dr. said that if I started pushing we would be running the risk of tearing the cervix before the baby even had a chance to make it through my pelvis. When night crew switched I ended up having two male Nurses taking care of me. And around 8 pm we were given the go ahead and with the help of the one lead male nurses, and Jason I started pushing.
First off let me say Jason was AWESOME!!! He was a great coach reminding me to constantly keep breathing like I was supposed to, and constantly trying to help me with any other pain that I was dealing with. (I had developed a huge knot in between my shoulders) And while I did end up getting moody and grouchie with him, he still took it with a grain of salt and told me to knock it off when I started getting bad. When it came time to put my epidural in he came over to the bed and put his forehead on mine and had me focus on him and my breathing. And when it came time to push and we discovered what worked for me when it came to pushing, He helped me hold my legs up in the air and counted for me,
So like I said I was given the go ahead to attempt push the baby out. The male nurse would always tell me “push harder” and once I pushed so hard that I just let out this huge scream while I did it that made all three of us laugh and even resulted with the Dr. coming in to check on us :p Apparently everyone out and about the monitors stopped what they were doing and looked at each other when I screamed, and then looked at Dr. Hoffman, whose response was “uum I’m going to go check on that.” Only to find the me, Jason and the RN laughing. The RN even said “if she could keep pushing like that this baby would be out in no time.” Needless to say it made Dr. Hoffman chuckle and I promised not to scream like that again so as “I wouldn’t scare the other patients” :p So I continued to push… and push… and push… and push… I was fully dialated, but for some reason was no more closer to getting the baby out than I was when I first started. When I hit the three hour mark I was exhausted in a ton of pain and numb all at the same time. Dr. Hoffman came in and checked on me. The baby was unable to descend into my pelvis and it was looking like the baby’s head was swelling a lot, so they needed to get me into a c-section. I just looked at her with tears in my eyes exhausted and simply said “Please” And everyone sprang into action then. I was set up and made ready to go into the OR as quickly as possible (took roughly 30 minutes) My body was numbed again and I was given more pain meds to make it so I couldn’t feel anything and before I knew it I was strapped down in the OR and they were bringing Jason in to sit up by my head and hold my hand.
The first cut or whatever it was felt so weird that I can’t even describe it!! But once Dr. Hoffman got to the baby Jason and I could hear say “Oh yea this baby isn’t fitting through your pelvis at all! He is huge!” (pulls baby out of my belly and holds him up.. I heard Richard’s watery squeaky cry) “I’d say he’s at least 10 lbs. Go ahead and give her that medicine.” Things became blissfully dark.. and I was suddenly dreaming of “The Matrix” and everything was white and all the people who were working on me were there also dressed in white.. HAHAHA Then I woke up and they took me back to my room where Richard was being assessed and Jason was doing the good Hubby thing and taking pictures like I asked him to. The entire C-Section process took maybe 45 minutes.. Richard was Lester Naval Hospitals first baby of August being born at 12:25 am. And the biggest of the weekend being 8 lbs 13 oz, 21.9 inches long.
I can’t get over how cute he is. I kept waking up those first two days feeling like I was dreaming that what I was experiencing wasn’t real. But now that I’ve already started to deal with the first of what I know will be many “New Mommy Doubts”, I know that everything I went through was for a reason. Now the only thing I can do is be the best mommy I can be to this precious baby boy that God has blessed me with.

(pictures to follow in next entry)

Oh baby where are you??

Baby Richard’s due date has come and gone… I keep getting asked by certain family members why my Doctor hasn’t done anything to “help me” because of how miserable I have been. While it’s true that if I were home, back in New York or Pennsylvania more than likely the Doctor that I would have seen probably would have gone ahead and brought Richard into the world earlier. However the Military Doctors here have a completely different policy.
I’ve shed many tears over this, and I’ve been in A LOT of pain and endured with a significant amount of discomfort. I’ve even asked God the same questions over and over. Why? Why would the Doctors here allow a pregnant woman to go through a month of seemingly perpetual misery? Knowing that the baby inside her is on the large side while the woman herself is small in stature, why not do something to ease the woman’s pain?
The only answer I got from the Doctors was; “We have to follow the guidelines. And that means we won’t induce you until you’ve reached 41 weeks.”
I figure that I’ll never really understand, because in the end as long as Richard comes out “ok” and perfect… Large and perfect that is all that matters. Everything I’ve endured will mean nothing because in the end no matter what I’ll have the precious little life that God has granted me the privilege of nurturing.
I know when I go home for Christmas, more than likely some family member will ask me why the Doctors didn’t help me or didn’t induce me earlier than what they are. And will have some criticizing comment to make. Here is my answer to anything that may be said to me: I have been in a completely different situation than anyone here has ever had to deal with. I have been in a foreign country, being taken care of by military doctors. Who have been educated and trained that they must always go by guidelines and policies that have been set aside by the people who are in command over the entire Navy medical. In the end all that matters is Richard is born, and I live through it.
And as I sit here and look at the swing that was given to us, hours ticking by, bringing us closer to the moment when the precious life inside me will take its first breath of air, I can’t help but realize that life as we know it will truly never be the same. Life will be so much more important and special, all because by the end of this month we will be parents, and only God can take that away from us.

Maternity Pictures

Yesterday I met with the photographer who did my Maternity pictures and got the CD from him. Jason and I LOVE how the pictures turned out. Even though it was a little on the pricey side it was worth it. Here are a few of our favorites! Oh and Disclaimer I am wearing clothes!! We just covered them up with very large pieces of cloth...(all pictures are copywritten by Hanna Photography. Please do not steal)

It’s the beginning of the end….

The end of this pregnancy!!! Today I am officially 37 weeks, aka FULL TERM!!!! Jelly bean is getting bigger every day, how do I know this... My stomach has grown to accommodate him and let’s just say it has gotten rather obvious to me at least that the poor thing is rather frustrated with his oh so cramped surroundings. The way I can tell, you know how when you get really frustrated you’ll maybe clench your fists and just shake them (or want to) yea sometimes Richard will be wiggling around and all of the sudden he does that, just shakes. It makes me giggle, but at the same time I feel bad for him.


Our last prenatal appointment was on the 23rd, and at first my new Dr. wasn’t going to check me but I told her about the change in the discharge and I could completely tell that she got one of those feelings that said she better check. So at 35 weeks and 6 days I was 80% effaced, 1 cm dilated, and baby was in the -1 position. I could hear the surprise in her voice when she commented on how “low” the baby was, and the fact that my cervix is behind the baby’s head rather than in front. (This makes for a very difficult time checking to see how the cervix is doing) The one thing that I appreciate the most is she has not gotten after me about my weight gain, each time I’ve seen her she asks how big Jason and I were when we were born and then explains “you are just all belly.” She has also explained that because of how big “daddy” was and is, explains a lot as to why I’ve gained so much weight and why my belly is so big. Then when she squeezes my belly to estimate how big Jelly bean is she always comments on how big he is and that he is “solid”. This last time she did her estimate she said 7 ½ pounds, (which could be a half a pound less or more) and said that if I don’t go into labor within the next couple weeks they were going to have to do something to ensure that baby Richard doesn’t get to big for me. So Jason and I are both guessing that baby Richard will be approx. 8 lbs. (give or take some ounces) and at least 19 to 20 inches long. Chunkier than I was when I was born (6lbs 7 oz. 21 inches) but slightly longer than Jason was when he was born (9lbs 18inches).

We had my maternity photo-shoot done when I was 34 weeks by Hannah Photography. I honestly just wanted to see what he could do with me. We’re still waiting on the photographer to get the pictures all edited. As a result of this photo-shoot I am going to be taking a lesson from the makeup artist to learn how to do my own make up sort of in the way she did it for the shoot. Jason is being very encouraging about it, because he knows I’ll have fun and it will be something that I’ll be able to use for various reasons. (Gotta look good for those MC Balls right :p)

Other than that not much is going on besides trying to evict the small one from my body. I can honestly say that being away from home and halfway around the world from family who would be helping out with things makes this hard. When I’m having false labor contractions I deal with it on my own, rather than having my mother or sister there to reassure me that I’m ok it’s just my body getting ready for what’s to come. I end up having to wait to call them either first thing in the morning or late at night when we’re about ready to go to bed. Which, I still get the same encouragement from them, but it is strained and different because there is only so much one can really do over the phone rather than in person. I try to rely on Jason as much as I can, but at the same time he is being bogged down at work and comes home sometimes not until 8 o’clock and is practically dead on his feet. So I feel bad during the week asking him if he can help me do things like wash the dishes or just the general house cleaning chores. He does it, but the majority of the cleaning gets saved for the weekends.

I guess that’s it for now… Baby Jones Watch 2011 has officially begun!!!

Wake up call!

Update: So the baby showers went great. Baby Richard got completely spoiled :p I am so very grateful for everyone who is celebrating with us our little miracle baby!!

I was talking with my friend Siggie and I explained how the one OB Dr. I saw told me I’d probably never be able to have children on my own and she laughed and said “Your body probably said ‘oh yea watch this’ just to prove him wrong.” Definitely sounds like something I’d do.


The temperature here is getting very humid and hot. Like right now we are supposed to be experiencing a high of 78 degrees... however the temperature outside is 84 degrees with a 75% humidity. If I don’t drink enough water I get very very uncomfortable. And if I don’t drink enough water I start having bad contractions. This brings me to the “wakeup call” we recently had.

Last Wednesday I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions on and off all day, anywhere from an hour to 30 minutes apart. Then it got to the end of the day where I was feeling a little weird but I was taking the kids out to the “bus stop” to be picked up then I’d be able to go home soon. I ended up taking one little girl to a bench to sit and wait for her mommy because her mom was late. I started having a contraction that just seemed to get worse. Richard had been laying side-ways and all of the sudden he moved… into the perfect position for being born. I literally felt him “click” once he got settled like he was locked and loaded for take-off. Then the extremely painful contractions started, they went to 10 minutes apart, and I called Jason when they were 7 minutes apart. I told him “I need you to come here and get me, I’m having contractions at least 7 to 8 minutes apart and they really hurt and I know I need to go to Labor and delivery.” And like any “new” daddy he rushed as fast as he could down the island to come get me. He had me call the people in L&D and explain to them what was going on, by the time I got them on the phone I was having contractions 5 minutes apart. We went in with in the next 15 minutes of me getting off the phone with them and they already had a room ready and waiting for me. The first nurse who started working with me was awesome, and as it turned out also happened to be the OB educator so she sat there and answered all our questions and gave us a crash course of what is going to happen the next time I come in. Which as it turned out I was in labor, I had some contractions that were 3 minutes apart, and Jason said he remembered were reading at a 60 on the contraction counter. They hooked me up to an IV which hurts like all get out, (I’m not looking forward to doing that again) and got some fluids in me, and that managed to stop my labor. During the sonogram the Dr. said that the baby was measuring that he was 5 and a half pounds, which is very large for a then 32 week fetus. I noticed his head looks rather big (like his father’s poor thing :p)But again the Dr. while she seemed very overwhelmed was nice enough to answer our questions and let us know what was going on. According to the test they ran there was a 98% I would NOT be giving birth in the next two weeks, and I heard her say that she gave me four weeks before I was back. Her parting words were “Because of the size of your baby we’re going to have to keep a good eye on you guys from now on to make sure everything is ok.”


I go see a new OB Dr. on Thursday, because the other Dr. I was seeing is PCSing soon and said that it would probably be a good idea if I saw one of the other doctors because he wasn’t planning on taking on very many appointments during the month of June so that he could get ready to leave… Plus there was also a conflict of personalities between us, where I felt I wasn’t being “listened to” very well and that he rushed us throughout appointments rather than showing concern over something other than my weight gain.


So like I said our eyes have been opened, time is getting short. And soon very soon we will officially be a family of three… For the most part the nursery is ready, the pack ‘n’ play has the bassinet in it and is now in the bedroom with us. My bag is for the most part ready to go, and Richard’s diaper bag is packed. I just have to make a list of things for Jason to come back and get once everything is all over and he’s able to get away to get himself cleaned up and changed, and let people know that Baby Richard has been born. I have two more weeks of work, please pray with me that I make it through with no further problems!!!

Belly Update.

Today I had my 28 week OBGYN appointment, last week I ended up having a three hour glucose test and had to schedule this appointment a week later to find out what the results were. Luckily I do not have gestational diabetes!!! Plus the last time I had blood work done I was told that I was slightly anemic, this is no longer the case, My Dr. said that everything is looking good!!!
I also realized something today, the Dr. I have been seeing is the “Department Head” of the OBGYN. So I’m thinking if the department head isn’t showing signs of being worried about how I’m doing with my pregnancy then I have no reason to worry, Right? Right!  

While there is a seemingly constant concern with random people about how “big” I am I do have to say that I’m definitely not done yet … I still have my belly button. This picture was taken during week 26 when I was at Girl Scout Camp. Yes you read that right I volunteered for Girl Scout camp. I was not however in charge of any children. I volunteered my “services” as the photographer for multiple reasons. Mainly so they would get pictures and I would get some experience working with my camera more. The week was very busy for me and very exciting, and I did manage to go “swimming” in the pool finally on Thursday which my back and body greatly appreciated! I had a friend take a picture of me in my new maternity swim suit, and I promise to post that once she emails me the picture. However for now I can leave you with this :

I had Jason take a picture of me one morning before work because I realized it has been a while since I had a belly picture taken of me. And yes I understand and realize that I’m “huge” but at the same time I like to remind myself that at least the majority of the 25 pounds I’ve gained so far are all in the belly where little Richard is “baking”, because I still manage to fit into my pre-maternity clothes I just can’t button them because of how low baby likes to sit in my tummy.

Today I also went and got a "packet" that tells us what we need to do to "register" the baby with the US government and get him his very own passport. Its looks like we are going to be paying $205, to get everything done by the people done at the hospital. i figured it would be much much easier to do it that way rather than trying to go to the American Consult and doing it ourselves. I can honestly say I am very glad that we brought our birth certificates and marriage lisence with us because they're going to need them. I just have to hope and pray that once the baby is born we will be able to get right in and make the appoinment to get all of the paper work filed. More on this subject as we deal with it.
I do have some sad news to share. As many of you know I spoil my pets and have a tendency to try new things that are "animal friendly". Thus was the case this past week. I had heard and read a bit about the "Carefresh Bedding" for small animals and how it was supposed to be great for reducing odor and for the animals to be able to burrow in it. So I thought I'd give it a try and put some in Mimi's cage, because well she had a tendancy to stink. I did that on Sunday, Monday I noticed she wasn't feeling well and wasn't able to get her in to see a Vet until Tuesday when she just seemed a lot sicker. Turns out Mimi had eaten some of the bedding, and it had caused a blockage in her stomach which made her very sick. I did everything the vet asked me to. I had this gut feeling that she wasn't going to get better and asked them to please put her down so she didn't suffer, unfortunately the particular clinic doesn't euthanize animals except under special circumstances and this case did not fall under those guide lines. So I had to continue to "force feed" her and give her medicine and hope and pray she got better. Friday afternoon however Mimi's little body couldn't take it anymore, and she died. While some may say my pregnancy hormones lead me to freak out the way I did only those who truly know me (ie my immediate family and husband) understood completely. And Jason came home from work to "take care" of things. While I'm sad I understand what happened and had I done more research on the product I would have never choosen it for the sheer fact that if eaten by a small animal (ie, rabbits, hampster,etc) it would cause a "blockage" in their stomach and make them very sick and possibly kill them. Which in poor Mimi's case it did. We still have Leo, and while he seems slightly lonely he is doing well. Both Jason and I have been making more of an attempt to play with him daily, and make sure we check on him and pet him. And I shall now end my book, and try very hard to remind myself to post again very soon.. probably after I have the two baby showers that are being planned for me :-)

Taking a moment....

Its so easy to get wrapped up in life and not take the time to stop and praise God for the blessings he's given us. And I want to take the time to do that today because I really feel that its important to do.

First off Thank you God for the family and friends back home who care about us and love us enough to check on us and make sure we are ok despite the earthquake and tsunami warnings from Mainland Japan.
Thank you for the people that I have met here on the island who I feel I can truly call my friends. They are the people that I can turn to when I need help, people I can share my joys with, who I can go to for advice and learn from. It is these people with whom I feel truly hold me up and wish no ill will to ever come to me or mine.
Thank you, for blessing me with a husband who truly loves me despite my faults. Who tries everyday to be a good husband to me and is so very excited to finally become a daddy.
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to come and live in a different country, that surrounds us with your beauty. I know there is a reason for us to be here and I will be contented to live my life here seeking and following your will, even if your reasoning never becomes clear. I'm happy to be doing what you want me to do.
And Thank you so very much for blessing me with the life of the child inside of me. This is an experience that for months I thought I'd never get to experience, and was told that it probably wouldn't happen. Every ache and pain, movement from within, and new development just screams to me how precious this little life is. Every time something good happens I get so excited and want to shout to the world about my little miracle. Despite the complications that have come about (mainly the bleeding) still I am blessed with experiencing the movements of a very active baby boy. You've blessed me with Doctors who care, and show their concern every time I see them. Doctors who want nothing more than for this child to enter into the world healthy. and again I thank you.
Thank you God for the All of the Blessings you have given me!
~ Amen~

Go team blue!!!

Yep thats right.. for those of you who aren't on my facebook and don't know yet.. Jelly Bean is a BOY!!!!

His name will be Richard Everett, and he is expected to arrive sometime around July 22nd. At 20 weeks and 4 days he was already measuring at being 13 oz.

He wiggled around soo much during the ultrasound the poor Ultrasound tech had to go out of order for the pictures that she needed and get what she could when she could. And she commented a couple of times "I can't believe how active your baby is!" She also laughed a couple times saying that he was showing off for mommy.

At one point he was laying sideways, then he moved and was "chilling out" on my bladder. We watched him touch his feet to his head, all folded up like a taco, and cross his ankles. When we got a good view of his face I got the impression that he has his daddy's nose. Jason saw it too when he came in. Also once Jason was in the room the baby started to relax, and we watched him yawn and rub his eyes and settle down.

Needless to say Jason is SUPER excited. Since we started talking about children he always wanted a boy first, and now he has one. I'm happy that my intuition was right because throughout this whole pregnancy I've been saying I thought/felt that the baby was a boy. And I had to laugh, my parents only had girls, and now they're getting all boy grandson's. Heaven help us if our next child is a girl!!

what's been going on...

For the past month and a half I keep thinking to myself “I really need to write a blog…” and then life happens or I get sleepy and the blog entry doesn’t happen. The past couple months have been a whirlwind of experiences. The day I hit the 12th week of my pregnancy I started bleeding. Jason was still in the states for his mother’s funeral and I had just finished my day at work. I was “resting” because I had started spotting earlier in the day and when I stood up to go get myself some dinner I just felt like I just peed myself. So I went to the bathroom… and needless to say I had started bleeding. I quickly changed my clothes and drove myself to the ER in a panic. In the ½ hour it took to get to the ER I had filled one pad, but the bleeding seemed to subside by the time they checked me. I never wish that experience on anyone. Here I was by myself thinking that I was losing my baby, the baby that I had been told wouldn’t happen, right after my mother in law died. As I was running out the door I called the friend who has a key to our apartment and asked her to please come to my house and call Jason to let him know what was going on, that I couldn’t think straight to tell her the number other than to tell her it was on the computer under Grandpa Miller. Thankfully the Dr’s were worried about me having someone with me and when I looked through my phone the because my friend was already busy letting Jason know what was going on the only person I could think of calling was Stephanie, Ryan’s wife, because she is the closest thing to Family that I have out here.
It was determined to be a slight hemorrhage in the placenta, and I was put on bed rest for the next three days. Jason came home on Monday night and Tuesday I was finally able to get in to see a Dr. for the follow up apt where it was again determined that the baby and I were fine. In fact the baby was kicking like crazy and as the Dr. said being difficult (taking after its father already). Jason finally got to see our little jelly bean, and had the same reaction I did, fell in love.
Since then Jelly Bean has grown A LOT, and started poking out making me look very pregnant. I’ve had multiple comments said about how my baby is going to be “big” and am I sure I’m not having twins? You’d think after 3 ultrasounds I’d know if I was having twins, but people still question it. Which is frustrating because it’s just making me feel like I’m getting fat and putting on a ton of weight when I’m still able to fit into numerous pre-pregnancy pants. At my fifteen week appointment my Dr. told me what is probably going to be the best advice I’ll ever get in my life: “Stop listening to people. Every woman develops differently, stop looking stuff up on the internet and stop listening to what people are say to you.” Unfortunately we didn’t get an ultrasound; the Dr. just checked the baby’s heart beat which is at a 150 rate. He seemed very confident that the baby and I were doing fine.
I stopped spotting at week 16, and my Primary Care Manager (aka. A different Dr.) checked me to see how I was doing when I asked about leaking fluids, because my OBGYN Dr. had asked me if I was leaking fluids but I couldn’t tell at the time because I was still spotting. The next day my PCM called me to check on me again and reconfirm that if I ever wonder about the leaking fluids or have any questions to let him know, that phone call brought some tears to my eyes because I really felt like God put me here and had my PCM continually change to end up with this man, and be under the care of these Dr.’s so that my baby and I would be well taken care of. Needless to say I’m not leaking fluids, and the baby is definitely growing and wiggling around in there.
On Valentines day Jason was whining about not being able to feel the baby yet, by then we could get a general idea of where the baby was hanging out. So I had Jason put his hand on my stomach in the area that I was feeling some movement. It felt weird like I was getting tickled from the inside, and after a minute Jason got a huge grin on his face, he had felt some part of the baby rub up against my stomach at the same time I got the biggest “internal tickle”. Since then Jason has had this uncanny ability to reach over and gently tickle my belly right where the baby happens to be, and it always feels like the baby kind of tickles back a little.
Through all of this joyful baby stuff I’ve been dealing with Girl Scout Cookie sales. They are over now thankfully, but if that wasn’t a stressful time I don’t know what is!! My troop all agreed that we want to go camping at Okuma for one weekend towards the end of the year with our cookie money, and later this month we will be having a sleep over at the Girl Scout hut to start preparing us for our weekend. Girl Scout camp is quickly approaching, and I’ve been trying to help with recruiting some ladies to help out as counselors. And other than my escapes to the Ceramics room to “relax” and work on a project, that is pretty much all I’ve been doing. Girl Scouts, work, Dr. Appointments, and spending time with my hubby. Next week we find out what Jelly Bean is, if it’s going to be a Richard Everett or a Lorelai Denise. I can’t wait and we are both super excited!! If only the week would go by a little faster so we could find out. Here is a picture of me from last friday when Jason and I were out walking and playing with my camera.

Awareness

At the end of October I started seeing a counselor because I knew that I needed to start taking time for myself and taking care of myself, and really just changing what I was focusing on in my life. I really believe that making that decision and putting it into effect and practice I was able to conceive the little miracle that is growing inside of me. After three sessions my counselor said to me "your homework is to come up with new goals because since you've become pregnant, you've achieved all the goals we came up with at your initial meeting." If that's not a confidence booster I don't know what is!!
While I was in my session today my counselor pulled a book off the shelf and opened it up to the "Personal Bill of Rights" and I have to say that after reading it I knew that it is perfect to describe the overall way that I am feeling about myself as a person, and is definitely something that I will forever be working on.

Personal Bill of Rights
1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say 'I'm afraid."
14. I have the right to say 'I don't know.
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.